Questions Questions everywhere

I recently have been running around trying to answer a million questions all at once and have been pouring over books and web pages to get my answers. What should the role of women be in the church? (no change in my opinion there - I went to Gordon Hugenberger at Park Street Church for this.) When was the world created? Why do people believe in a young earth (in six days - not a great explanation)? How do people reconcile science and the Bible (Origins of Life)? How come I am feeling disaffected at church (Blue Like Jazz)? Is it a stylistic thing (Sacred Pathways)? Is Dylan gifted or just pretty smart and if so what should I do about it? My schoolroom is a mess, how can I keep it neater? I have also been reading through homeschooling catalogs and forums (especially Sonlight and Winterpromise). My big question has been whick of the three (1,2,3) math curriculum I am using will actually make Dylan like Math? or do I try another? Oh, and I am also in a discipleship group trying to teach me to be a better wife.

So as I said, I have been going around in circles trying to do everything at once. but last night was my night out. So I took some books, headed over to Barnes and Nobel and had a quiet time. John made me leave the home school stuff at home. So I read one chapter in Power of a Praying Wife and one in Blue Like Jazz. And I wrote in my journal. The clear message: I am too busy running around trying to avoid reality. I am focusing on all these mildly important issues to avoid seeing that I need better relationships. With God, my husband and friends. I need to get out of my head and start living more. So I came home and played a game of Topple with John (it was too late to do anything that required a brain). So of course, I am now writing about it instead of living. but I am trying. And I will claim that writing in a blog is the beginning of sharing myself. if only I can talk to real people now...

No voice, but I am still in charge, sort of

I can't stop coughing - unless I stop talking. I did read-alouds with my son for school today and then tried to read his history. I could not stop hacking away. He brilliantly took this as a sign that school was over and ran to the other room with his little brother. I sat dejectedly in the school room wondering if I should throw in the towel, or wait til John came home to make him work with me.

I decided that there are some subjects that don't require much talking from me. We don't do many workbooks, but he can do those! So I wrote him a note (thank God can read), waved a choice of 2 videos in front of Diesel and herded Dylan back to the school room. And now he is slowly plodding through work. But some is getting done and I don't need to write off another day. I am grateful for small miracles.

Closing in for the kill

Everyday, John comes home from work and I catch him up on how my day went. And at least once a week he comments : You should write a blog. So I am....

Today, I am feeling sick. A bad cold that is threatening to become the flu. And my kids can tell. They can sense weakness. Here Mommy, let me be helpful. I'll get myself some Cheerios! oops did I just pour a whole box on the floor? My turn, my turn! I'll help clean up and step on half of them and push the other half all around the kitchen floor!

If I had the energy I'd scream. Luckily I don't so I have to just laugh. What other joys do they have in store for me today?